The Highway’s greatest modern myth – the Tobacco Dock Hotel

Tobacco Dock Hotel.

Yeah, right. It’s never going to happen. Which is OK as no-one cares.

Anyway we found this gushing breathy masterpiece of PR nonsense and, for various reasons, thought you might find it useful darlings! Mwah! Mwah!

By Katy Blackwood (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (], via Wikimedia Commons
“No Bolly darling? No Bolly at the mythical Tobacco Dock Hotel?” Photo: Katy Blackwood (Own work)
To save you the pain of reading the aforementioned dross we did (nuffink better to do) and can exclusively reveal (or not if you know already) that the mythical Tobacco Dock Hotel will in fact be two hotels –  Aloft London Tobacco Dock and Element London Tobacco Dock.

Artists impression of Aloft London Tobacco Dock and Element London Tobacco Dock

Seems Tobacco Dock has been shifted south a bit as according to the PR nonsense “Tobacco Dock boasts one of the capital’s biggest meeting, arts and event spaces with a Grade I listed warehouse on the banks of the River Thames.”

What did the Romans ever do for Wapping?

To be fair the banks of the River Thames were right by the current location of Tobacco Dock but this was when the Romans were occupying Wapping.

And explains why there is a massive Roman bath house underneath the currently derelict site.

In a further example of our public spirit we are not going anywhere near an explanation of what the Re:chargeSM  and Re:fuelSM  deli  facilities available in the never to be built hotel might be. Or not.

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