Tower Hamlets adopts biometric system to combat voting fraud

It has been announced that Tower Hamlets is to adopt a biometric voting system for all future elections in an attempt to completely eradicate electoral fraud.

Voters will have their fingerprints scanned and checked as they vote and electronically verified against a database of all borough residents on the electoral roll.

As we all know election integrity is a cornerstone of modern democracy and it is considered that a biometric system is the best chance of ensuring fair elections in the borough.

Nigeria sets example for Tower Hamlets

The recent elections in Nigeria and other African nations have proved to be outstanding in their results and there can be little doubt that this is the way forward for Tower Hamlets voting.

Nigerian national flag
Nigerian national flag

As with all new technology there are bound to be some minor technical hitches but the Electoral Commission is confident these bugs will be ironed out by the time the system is deployed in East London.

The new biometric system will require everyone who lives in Tower Hamlets to have their fingerprints taken at their local police station.

Those unable to get to attend these biometric registration sessions will of course be able to submit their fingerprints by post.

Wash hands before voting

Sample Tower Hamlets Mayoral election ballot paper
Sample Tower Hamlets Mayoral election ballot paper

One example of this is the need for voters to wash their hands before casting their vote to ensure that the biometric readers can correctly verify their fingerprints.

Consequently wash basins will be installed in every voting booth, with the plumbing costs being covered by the Department for Communities and Local Government (DCLG).

“With this system we will be able to wash our hands of any future involvement with Tower Hamlets voting,” said a DCLG spokesperson.

Online voting trial failure

Polling Station

Love Wapping can exclusively reveal that a recent secret online voting trial was a massive failure due to a lack of plugs at polling stations.

It is believed that Tower Hamlets First will be supplying all plugs for the new voting wash basins.

At a cost of £175 each the special voting plugs are not cheap but a council Main Stream Grant will cover the projected spend of £1.5m over the next two local elections.

“Tower Hamlets is once again showcasing the future of democracy process in the UK,” said a spokesperson for Mayor Lutfur Rahman.

“We are totally confident that the new biometric system will elect Tower Hamlets First candidates in every ward. Which is only fair.”

Update 12: 24 01 April 2015 This post is, of course, an April Fool. Isn’t it?

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