The Wapping Tourist Board – Patrol Report #1


Wapping Tourist Board here! As you know, one of the many tasks of the Wapping Tourist Board is to patrol the streets in all weathers and help tourists.

Due to Health & Safety legislation we can’t help people who live here, so please don’t ask.

Dangerous work

This is dangerous work as last year one of our patrol leaders took the Overground to Rotherhithe by mistake and has not been seen since.

Anyway as I patrolled the canal, clipboard at the ready, I noticed a gentleman standing outside Tobacco Dock explaining its history to a group of around 10 people.

Quality Control of Wapping Guides

I immediately adopted my normal disguise of feeding the ducks while carefully listening to what he was saying. Quality Control of Wapping Guides is a key task for us all here at the Board. Most of this work is carried out incognito for obvious reasons and any ‘guide’ found to be providing people with dodgy facts is referred to Ray the Enforcer.

But this time there was absolutely no need to take such drastic action.

Satisfied that his commentary was factually correct I asked if he had a card? He said he didn’t as he was just showing some friends round Wapping.

This was pretty impressive, especially as he then took them down to St. Peter’s London Docks and then to Turner’s Old Star. So he knows Wapping well. We don’t of course have a well but if we had one I am sure he would know about it’s history.

Report Conclusion

If someone who does not live in Wapping will go to the trouble of organising a history tour for his friends, unpaid and on a miserable winter’s day, you have to think that maybe there is more interest in this area than we realise.


2 thoughts on “The Wapping Tourist Board – Patrol Report #1

  1. Dear Patrol Leader
    It was with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart that I read of your glorious support for Wapping’s tourist trail despite the rather chilly weather.

    It does seem the weather brought out the best in people in Wapping today. I received two unprompted cheery “Good mornings” as I powerchaired my way past joggers. Normally, these super fit folk simply dash past me without a second look.

    Please may I request that future patrols encourage tourists (and locals) to avoid gathering and chatting at precisely the point of the dropped kerbs. Navigating through them definitely is a Health and Safety hazard for me, not to mention the potential damage to their toes.

    Keep up the good work.

    1. Issue with people standing at dropped kerbs point has been noted and circulated to all patrols. Personally whenever I see a jogger in Wapping I like to shout “THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD BUS SERVICE YOU KNOW!” but few take notice. Our patrols cannot forcibly remove people standing still but we can, under Health & Safety rules, apply large stickers on their clothing and force them to wear hi viz jackets.

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