Local news for Wapping E1W and Tower Hamlets

“Shagging + Hanging + Docking + Nicking = Wapping”

By on May 16, 2016 in News

Wapping  is famous for ‘coffee, bars and grooming’ according to a new bar opening in Thomas More Square. Which will come as a surprise to anyone living, working or even vaguely familiar with Wapping E1W as the description sounds like complete bollocks.

Even better is the news that the new venture (sorry, innovative, experiential blended concept) will be called – wait for it – ‘Trade Union, Wapping’.

I wonder what creative genius came up with that one? As original as a cracker at Christmas.

Although more offensive.

The Wapping Dispute

For which turning point in the UK media and trade union movement could they be referring to? That happened in, er, Wapping? And was a dispute? Answers on a postcard please. But not to LW.

Below you can see part of the marketing blurb for a company called Grand Union which has apparently become the latest pub group to launch a new standalone retail concept with its latest opening in Wapping.

Stand by to vom

 

wapping-union-bar

Coffee, bars and grooming.

Apart from the fact that this is completely mindless drivel it also seems a tad historically inaccurate.

Wapping famous for coffee, bars and grooming?

WTF?

The link above refers to the bar being called Bean + Cocktail + Razor. Not the ‘Trade Union Wapping’ then?

Below is another bit of blurb that has been found that states that ‘Historic Wapping is a fitting backdrop for the union of four of the world’s oldest trades: coffee, bars, grooming and flowers’.

wapping-union-bar-2

Coffee, bars, grooming and flowers

World’s oldest trades

LW has been out and about talking to the community about this whole ‘coffee, bars, grooming and flowers’ thing and the unanimous opinion from all Wapping residents questioned was that four of the world’s oldest trades that Wapping is quite rightfully famous for are:

  • Prostitution (aka sex workers)
  • Pirates (aka piracy at sea)
  • Docking (as in the Docks – not some gadget you stick another gadget into)
  • Thieving (see Docks above)

Sound about right?

“Shagging + Hanging + Docking + Nicking = Wapping”

So we suggest that the new concept in drinking is called “Shagging + Hanging + Docking + Nicking = Wapping”

Lacking in alliteration maybe but more historically accurate. LW would love to hear your alternative names for the new establishment, please tweet them with the hashtag #theNewWappingDispute

A neon cow

All is not lost as key design elements of Shagging + Hanging + Docking + Nicking will include ‘a branded mosaic threshold, butcher’s block host desk, booth-style leather seating and exposed brick walls that showcase contemporary artwork pieces including a neon cow and wall calligraphy telling the Bar + Block brand story.’

That’s a relief. Well, this orange person thinks so.

 

person-being-sick-featured

Tags:

Subscribe

If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it.

Comments are closed.

Top