On the basis of strict anonymity Love Wapping has been sent a copy of this memo from someone in the Tower Hamlets First canvassing team. Cheers for the tip Alibor!
From: Team Leader
To: Cold Calling Team
Subject: Use Your Brains
Great work over the last few weeks!
Unfortunately it seems that some of you
morons valued co-workers are leaving your brains at home when you come to work. Understandable looking at some of our candidates but even so, not good.
This morning one of you
idiots enthusiastic and unpaid volunteers made a cold call to a ‘potential voter’ on the Green Bank Estate in Wapping. Here are some guidelines:
- Do not call anyone on the Green Bank. Just don’t.
- If your target starts to make retching sounds when you ask “Can Tower Hamlets First party count on your vote today?” this is not positive.
- If the person you call asks “How on earth did you get my personal number? No one know this number apart from my family FFS!” take this as a potentially negative response also.
- If the caller then asks “What organisation did you say you are calling from?” and they sound very angry indeed then start mumbling.
- Do not say “I am calling on behalf of Tower Hamlets First”.
- And definitely do not say “You are registered with us” when you know, the person you are talking to knows and the dogs in the street know this is complete and utter bollocks and we got their number from, well, you know.
I hope this clarifies matters.
Please amend your calling scripts accordingly.
As Aisha managed to break every single one of these guidelines in a single two minute call today, Election Day, she has been promoted to head up the Mayor’s Overall Election Strategy.
Let this be a warning to you all.
Stuart, Team Leader
Note: In case you don’t realise this based on what happened to a neighbour of mine on the Green Bank. She was called today by the Tower Hamlets First party on her personal number and when questioned about this they claimed that she was a registered supporter. Which is, to say the least, highly unlikely. Wonder where THF got her number from?